Fashion Fail #1: SXSW

Ok, so i said i would do this. and i have been waiting for some photo's from my camera..... which i don't have the chord to get off. BUT i did get some fairly decent "fails" via iphone that i will share now.

Exhibit A

there were three young gentleman who seemed to be wearing these. One was gold, one was silver, and one was red(?). I believe they were in a band, i believe that band has the word "galactic" in the title. I can understand gimics in bands. I really can, kindof. Devo, B52's, even our more subtle of gimics like My Chemical Romance. There is that huge post punk trend of black outfit red tie..... don't even get me started on that whole thing. But what makes a person wake up in the morning and go, full body metalic leotard! It's the answer to all our problems. This kind of outfit is usually only attractive on teh very skinny, and the very goth. perferably on someone in a vampire movie. and lets hope that the body suit is black, not metalic. Basically you have to be Kate Beckinsale in Underworld. Now i can't tell if it helps or hinders this young man that he has clearly falsly enhanced his neather regions. I can tell you that when i was sitting on the steps eating my spinach and mushroom quillsadilla, and this mans everly huge shiny shiny crotch was in my face, i almost choked it startled me so. So there is that.

Exhibit B

I see this trend on many a girl/gay boy. It's 90+ degrees outside and you're thinking, i need shorts/skirt. Denim is best, oh.... and they must be cut offs. The more pocket i can see the better. And then you think, but all this hot weather has left my poor tosies cold (for no reason what so ever because it's 90+ outside), i shall wear my Uggs. This look to me always says, "i am confused, i am slutty, and my feet are sweating but i'm gonna play it off." And for this reason i am begging you. Just don't. It looks bad, everyone else is confused by it. And by the way Uggs were never that cute to begin with! There is so much cuter, more attractive, more functional summer foot ware out there. really there is! Sandals, they are fantastic! you should try them. And also stop cutting off your denim anything above the pocket. It's wierd, and it doesn't look good, no matter what you think. And if your ass is small enough that it can actually be covered with something cut off above the pocket, i'm sorry. But i can almost see your underwear. And if your ass can't be covered we've entered a whole new rhelm. You've also just confirmed my pre-judgement that you are slutty. Go out, get yourself a nice tunic dress. Preferably something with a big spring print. THEN get some really cute sandals that compliment it. then... you can wear your little short things (as long as i can't see pockets), and you can also not look horrible. I promise, you'll feel better about yourself, and i won't feel sorry for you. It will be fantastic!